41 Hours in the Gaping Maw of WalMart

Woe is us. A few weeks ago Skyler Bartels had an idea. The Des Moins, Iowa college student decided he would inspire himself as a writer by spending a week in the bowels of a 24x7 Wal-Mart. Fitted out with only with a debit card and a toothbrush, Bartels was consumed by Wal-Mart for a mere 41 hours before he was spit back out for a second chance at life. This story is remarkable precisely because it is not a story at all, though it has been replicated in hundreds of news outlets around the globe. Even Bartels remarked that he thought the exercise was a failure until he spoke to the Des Moines Register. And then the networks began to call. As did National Public Radio. And a book agent. And a film company.

So was the Wal-Mart experiment a success? Can Bartels take his rightful place within the celebrity pantheon because during March Break he spent 41 hours in a store, watched Chicken Run and took a nap in the garden center? Or was it a failure because it was inane, pointless and boring? Or will it be considered a success if it engenders a book or a movie or an interview with Oprah?

If Bartels' stunt can be compared to placing a canary in a coal mine, it appears that he survived this 41-hour ordeal quite nicely. However, the fact that such an an experiment was even attempted is proof that something vital in us has failed and may already be dying. Or dead.

So woe is us. And woe is U.S.