Tired of stop and go traffic and all those red lights? You could do what Jason Niccum did. The Longmont, Colorado resident purchased an "Opticon*" from eBay for $100 (US) in order speed up his commute. The device emits the same kind of infra-red pulses that fire trucks and rescue vehicles use to make stop lights change during emergencies. Niccum was busted recently for interfering with traffic lights, but, after using the Opticon for 2 years, he may have gotten his money out of it -- even with the $50 fine. His excuse, as reported by the police: "I'm always running late". Aren't we all, Jason?
If you are still in a hurry, you could try propping up a HOV dummy in the front seat, although that approach didn't work out well for Susan Aeschliman-Hill last month on Interstate 405 in Seattle. When she and her mannequin friend barged into the HOV lane by swerving in front of a school bus, they caused a multi-vehicle accident that injured 12 people. Yikes.
Perhaps Jason and Susan should think about car-pooling. Who knows? It could be a match made in heaven. And if it doesn't work out, they can always opt for 'his and hers' flying scooters. Even that sounds safer than driving with a dummy in the front seat. Me? I'm still getting around on my trusty VIVA bus (my million dollar limo) and bicycles (when the legs feel up to it).
The PenOpticon Limo!
* N.B. This PenOpticon has nothing to do with the "Opticon" that Jason Niccum was using.
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