The PenOpticon

Yes we can!

2008-11-05T07:38:00.003-05:00

Blogging has been sporadic for months -- hey, I've got my reasons! -- but I'm going to crank it up again. Feeling inspired tonight after the U.S election (though you wouldn't know it from the way I'm writing). Feeling inspired but a little rusty. In any case: Obama's acceptance speech and McCain's concession speech were remarkable for different reasons. Obama is always very much aware of the arc

Where will you be during Earth Hour?

2008-03-12T21:53:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I know Earth Hour isn't going to solve the Global Mess we've gotten ourselves into. It's a symbolic gesture, but sometimes symbols are all we have. And when you know you can't fix the world, it's still worth taking on issues that are close to home. That's why on March 29th, I'll be at the David Dunlap Observatory in Richmond Hill, Ontario. For the

Spring Migration 2007

2007-05-26T00:52:00.001-04:00

The birds came back. In spite of my many fears (some rational, some not so much) over global warming, run-away development and loss of habitat, da birds came back. Denise and I burned serious amounts of carbon in order to see this miracle once again, but the birds did not disappoint. Over the past few weeks we've been to Point Pelee, Rondeau, Thickson Woods, the Carden Alvar and also managed 3 or

Unturning old stones on Easter Island

2007-01-09T08:14:00.002-05:00

I stuck toothpicks in my eyes to stay awake for Stewart and Colbert last night, hoping for some good humour and insight -- some fake insight at least. Not much to be found there these days, though Jason Jones' report on two lunatics (one trying to give guns to teachers and one trying to give students Kevlar textbooks) was funny and smart. Meanwhile, in what passes for reality, we still don't

Airborne Toxic Events in Austin and Manhattan?

2007-01-09T08:14:00.001-05:00

CNN is reporting that a "mystery odor" is permeating Manhattan, though they claim it is not dangerous. Let's hope that is the case. Meanwhile a 10-block stretch of Austin was closed this morning when dozens of dead birds were found on city streets. The problem in Austin could have been caused by migratory birds bashing into tall buildings (that are lit up). This is a well-known and tragic

Globe & Mail on The greening of the oil sands

2007-01-09T08:12:00.000-05:00

Despite what the folks at the Pembina Institute think, today's Globe has a different view on all of the weird and wonderful things the oil moguls in the west are doing to lessen environmental damage caused by oils sands extraction and production. David Ebner's The Greening of the Oil Sands, reads more like a list of excuses and threats from the oil industry. Essentially we are told not to

Jesus Trees: Everyone’s favourite Deity stumps around the planet

2007-01-05T08:54:00.000-05:00

He's packed his trunks. He's branching out. He's taking a bough. Can you twig it? Jesus is appearing in trees around the world and bringing comfort to the faithful everywhere. At least, this is what we learn from CNN's recent video expose: Jesus in a tree? Neighbors say Lord, yes. I hope the good Lord will forgive me for wondering why this was not presented as "OffBeat News", a section which

Bird of the Week: Long-Eared Owl

2007-01-03T21:00:00.001-05:00

After last night's mean-spirited rant, here's the bird of the week: the Long-Eared Owl. There are supposed to be four of these guys hanging around the Burlington Outdoor Recreation Centre north of Toronto, but we only saw three. B.O.R.C. is located in kind of a wasteland of industrial dumping stations and train yards, mixed in with farms. Lot's of midnight dumping of refrigerators and stoves

Can Gerald Ford Pardon George Bush?

2007-01-03T20:58:00.000-05:00

While I've never been on any of the official guest lists, I've witnessed my share of state funerals through the magic of live television: JFK, MLK, Bobby Kennedy, Trudeau, Reagan, et al. Over the years, the "state funeral" has become a fusion of church and state. In other words, it has become a machine that manufactures images and sound bites for political gain. These solemn occasions give the

Harper, Dion, Layton: Jumping on the Environmental Trampoline

2007-01-03T20:55:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what a little bad weather and a by-election can accomplish. In November, a major rainstorm in Vancouver contaminated water reservoirs and forced a million residents to deal with a 12-day boil water advisory (never mind the fact that BWA's are a sad fact of life in dozens of native communities across Canada). Then, just a day after the Vancouver BWA was lifted, Green Party leader

Stormwater Retention Pond Blues

2007-01-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

If you happen to live in an urban area, you probably walk, cycle or drive by a stormwater retention pond almost every day. If you are not sure, just look for a medium-sized, murky body of water surrounded by a few acres of grass and geese (and the requisite industrial arrangement of precast stone, shrubs and riverrock). That'd be the one. Your local retention pond may smell like something

Illegal Cigarettes and Other Bad Habits

2007-01-02T20:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not a smoker, though my brother and I grew up with parents who smoked. We both remember bouncing around in the back of Buicks and Oldsmobiles -- with the windows rolled up -- while our folks puffed away to their heart's content. The smoke billowed around us like cumulus clouds, but we didn't care. Sometimes we'd ask Dad to blow smoke rings (such things were endlessly fascinating to

Absolute Power Corrupts, Ontario Power Corrupts Absolutely

2006-12-06T03:03:00.000-05:00

It's business as usual at Hydro One Inc, Ontario's largest electricity distribution company. Senior executives and their secretaries are making frequent use of corporate credit cards to purchase "gifts" and God knows what else. According to Jim McCarter, Ontario's Auditor General, some $127 million was billed last year with almost no receipts to show where and how this money was spent. Meanwhile

Stéphane Dion Comes out Swinging in Ottawa

2006-12-05T00:49:00.000-05:00

Apart from a few sound bites on the hourly CBC news, I decided not to torture myself last weekend -- I didn't watch any of the Liberal leadership convention. Fact is, I have to keep smacking the side of the head to remember: "I am not a Liberal!" Slap! "I am not a Liberal!" Slap. "I am not a Liberal!" Slap. And so on. Even if Dion proves to be as intelligent and honest as he seems, he'll still be

London North byelection shows need for mandatory voting law

2006-11-30T00:18:00.000-05:00

I was quietly (for a change) optimistic that Elizabeth May might carry the day for the Greens in last Monday's London North byelection. Although Liberal candidate, Glen Pearson won, the Green's second place showing represented a dramatic increase in support relative to past elections. But in our first-across-the-post electoral system, "relative" is all that really matters, isn't it? The fact is

Blogging my way through world problems

2006-11-27T10:39:00.002-05:00

When I started writing this blog some ten months ago, I told myself this is just a practice area -- a place away from work to play with words and ideas. I was not trying to solve the world's problems. I was not trying to right all wrongs, though I did hope to praise the just and satirize the guilty. I expected to have few readers and sadly that expectation has been exceeded.But I lied. O how i

Life Imitates Art with Submarines and Cocaine

2006-11-21T17:42:00.001-05:00

One of strangest stories of the week has got to be the take-down of a 50-foot home-made submarine that was laden with 3 tons of cocaine. According to an Associated Press report, the vessel, which was made of fiberglass and wood was spotted cruising at 7 mph, while submerged just 6-feet under the surface. Four "crew" were found inside, breathing through plastic pipes which poked up out of the

Bird of the Week: Hooded Mergansers

2006-11-21T01:30:00.001-05:00

For the past week or so, I've been visiting a family of Hooded Mergansers at Stong Pond, in the middle of York University's Keele Campus. You can walk around and around the pond to get a closer view, but these guys will calmly move to the opposite side to keep a safe distance from anyone with a camera. Even when geese and mallards crash and slosh around in the same pond, these tough ducks just

The Last Word on Garth Turner

2006-11-21T01:02:00.000-05:00

I keep telling myself not to dwell on the doings of the Honourable Member of Halton, Ont -- but everyday I find myself clicking on garth.ca for his latest rant and for the latest news on how the CPC is thwarting the will of the Halton Conservative Riding Association. To paraphrase a character in Don Delillo's White Noise -- the art of getting ahead in politics is based on learning how to express

Garth Day in Ottawa

2006-11-15T00:31:00.000-05:00

Garth Turner held his Ottawa news conference today to announce his resignation from the Conservative Party of Canada. Many were predicting he would drop some sort of big juicy scandal bomb on that party, but it was not to be. Neither did he announce his intent to join the Green Party as some have hoped. His situation illustrates perfectly how the rough edge of party politics seems to grind away

Borat: Social Failings of America for Make Money for Sacha Baron Cohen

2006-11-12T10:41:00.001-05:00

After seeing Borat on the Daily Show last week, I was not tempted to plonk down cash money to see the movie. But then I started reading about the law suits and that Russia is planning to ban it. And we were a little bored and needed to get out tonight. So ya got us Borat/Sacha -- ya got $14.90, anyhow. So what can you say about this Borat? It was hilarious, but most of the time it was

The Frog Lady: Harper Middle East Advisor Rejects

2006-08-16T07:35:00.000-04:00

The Frog Lady: Harper Middle East Advisor Rejects

Spinning: Ted Kennedy's Alternative Energy Program for Nantucket

2006-05-31T23:03:00.000-04:00

Massachusetts Senator Edward Kennedy today proposed an alternative to the massive Cape Wind renewable energy project slated for Nantucket Sound. Kennedy has been a vocal opponent of the wind farm, although it could generate up to 475 megawatts of clean energy. To keep the wind turbines from cluttering their view of the Sound, the entire Kennedy clan, along with other elite Vineyarders plan to

Bird of the Week: Black Crowned Night Heron

2006-05-31T18:19:00.000-04:00

Time for another Bird of the Week installment! The Black Crowned Night Heron is a cool-looking character decked out in a tasteful black beret and “cape”. You might think the blazing red eye is a tinted contact lens, but you ‘d be wrong. The cool factor is completed by two “white, filamentous plumes” which contrast nicely with the eye and back. This one has can be seen foraging for minnows and

Haunting words from current and past presidents

2006-05-30T08:56:00.000-04:00

I've been collecting a number of interesting quotes and sound bites for a small project: I'm more worried about other parts of the world. The Middle East, for instance. Iran is where they will start trouble if we aren't careful. -- President Harry S. Truman, two days after the invasion of Korea: It's silly talking about how many years we will have to spend in the jungles of Vietnam when we could

Jonathan Sacks answers: Why does God allow terrible things to happen to His people?

2006-05-29T15:21:00.000-04:00

Since my earlier rant about God and the Indonesia earthquake, I've stumbled upon Jonathan Sacks’ piece on the 2005 Tsunami. It is as relevant to the current disaster as it was on Dec 25, 2005 when the Asian Tsunami took so many lives.

Java Earthquake: Why does God hate the world?

2006-05-28T14:37:00.000-04:00

Never mind the human-generated violence and environmental damage that threatens this planet. Those anthropogenic miseries are mere scratches on the skin of the world compared to the fury often unleashed by the earth itself. The 2004 Asian (Boxing Day) Tsunami. 230,000 dead. Katrina? In the thousands, but somehow know one really knows. Yesterday's earthquake in Indonesia. 5000 and rising. A

The Berlin Hauptbahnhof: leaving North America at the station

2006-05-26T13:36:00.000-04:00

Now that the Hauptbahnhof -- Berlin's massive new central railway station -- has opened -- we North Americans should pause again to consider and lament the failings of our car and truck-based transportation infrastructure. After decades of enslavement to the automobile, it's time we used the tax system to favour more efficient bus and rail technologies to get more single occupant vehicles off

Bird of the Week: the Cape May Warbler

2006-05-23T08:36:00.000-04:00

We had a great morning birding Thickson's Woods on Sunday. Lotsa warblers. More importantly-- lotsa warblers at eye-level. I think we ended up with 16 species, including spectacular looks at Canada and Wilson's warblers. As we were leaving, we noticed someone had put out an orange to attract orioles -- and it was working all too well. In addition to a hungry oriole, this little Cape May Warbler

91 Top Blogging Tips: I blog therefore you...

2006-05-22T18:32:00.000-04:00

If you are a regular reader of The PenOpticon, you already know this blog is well on its way to becoming one of the most widely read and highly respected blogs on the net. Don't be fooled by the lack of comments and trackbacks -- the kinds of readers who frequent this site are too prominently placed in society -- we're talking, senators, judges, prime ministers and at least one respected

Poll: The Daily Show Effect: Is Jon Stewart Destroying America?

2006-05-21T22:36:00.000-04:00

The May issue of American Politics Research features a study of Jon Stewart and the Daily Show's impact on the politcal attitudes of 18-24 year-olds. These ever-so-clever researchers got college students to sit down and watch 8 minutes of Daily Show clips and 8 minutes of CBS evening news. They tried to select clips with similar content -- it was coverage leading up to the 2004 election. They

Ontario's Crude Oil Attitude

2006-05-19T00:43:00.000-04:00

There is a fundamental difference between the north and south shores of Lake Erie: the Canadian side is dotted with oil and gas wells while the American side is not. In fact, all oil and gas development around Lake Erie -- with the exception of a few wells in Michigan -- is taking place on the Canadian side. There is, as always, a bit of history to this. Canada's oil industry began in the 1850's

Is Washington Pollster, Frank Luntz Trolling for Stephen Harper's Business?

2006-05-10T08:35:00.000-04:00

It seems that Frank Luntz, a well-known (and many would say infamous) American right-wing communication strategist has been chatting up Stephen Harper and his minority band of merry Conservatives. Luntz made a name for himself over the past dozen years by working with the GOP on "messaging" (a.k.a. LuntzSpeak). And, he is particularly well known for penning two memos that defined the language

Protesting Mr. President in Song

2006-05-09T07:22:00.000-04:00

Pink and the Indigo Girls have written a letter to GWB in the form of a song -- click below if you have not heard it. It's an achingly beautiful country melody that is guaranteed to tug at the old heartstrings. It tries to burrow through the Big Rock Candy Mountain of political rhetoric to reach Mr. President as a fallible human -- a father and a man who has known a thing or two about drinking

Prime Minister? I have no Prime Minister

2006-05-08T07:16:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning feeling kind of rudderless. At first I thought it was just the usual Monday blahs and then it suddenly hit me. I have no Prime Minister. I have no federal leader. Now, I didn't vote for Stephen Harper, but I do respect the democratic process, and was therefore willing to give him a chance. I figured if he happened to be in line behind me at an Ottawa Tim Hortons, I'd

Freedom isn't Free: The PenOpticons go to Washington

2006-05-07T00:51:00.000-04:00

I have visited Ottawa many times, toured Parliament, sat in the Governor General's "backyard", been transfixed by the National Gallery of Canada and cycled miles of bike paths, and gardens. It's an amazing place, but compared to Washington, D.C. my capital is little more than a beaver lodge nestled at the edge of the Ottawa River. A very expensive beaver lodge, mind you. But it's all relative. "

Nine Days in America

2006-04-30T02:48:00.000-04:00

Denise and I just returned from a nine day work/vacation road trip through the north eastern states -- mostly D.C., Virginia and North Carolina. Apart from doing our part to help deplete the world's supply of oil (we burned up 3,000 KM worth), our plan was to make a kind of pilgrimage to Washington, explore the Great Dismal Swamp and visit some of the wildlife refuge areas in the N.C. Outer

Coopers Hawk at York U

2006-04-20T14:08:00.000-04:00

I took a walk around a woodlot at York U today and tried out a borrowed Minolta Dimage camera. I was hoping for a good shot of a Cardinal since they have been singing up a storm around the university. Instead I stumbled upon a Coopers Hawk that was glaring at me with a big red eye from a tree branch. We stared at each other for a few minutes until he hopped down onto a log and did a little line

Opticons and HOV dummies

2006-04-18T13:10:00.000-04:00

Tired of stop and go traffic and all those red lights? You could do what Jason Niccum did. The Longmont, Colorado resident purchased an "Opticon*" from eBay for $100 (US) in order speed up his commute. The device emits the same kind of infra-red pulses that fire trucks and rescue vehicles use to make stop lights change during emergencies. Niccum was busted recently for interfering with

Organized Crime and the Midnight Tow Truck

2006-04-15T02:15:00.000-04:00

This week's Toronto-area crime news has been dominated by front page pictures of eight murdered Bandidos motorcycle gang members and related stories of gang activities within the GTA. It turns out that the Bandidos and other gangs have been using tow trucks to haul drugs around the city. In fact, the Toronto Star reported that on the night of the Shedden massacre, police tailed a tow truck along

Guitar Gods

2006-04-10T00:38:00.000-04:00

A friend sent this and I had to blog it because I love this piece of music and this kid is an awsome player. And to think I had the nerve to post a few of my own MP3s (though I posted them on April Fools!) Click and enjoy:

And still the birds fly...

2006-04-09T00:57:00.000-04:00

In spite of global warming, the war in Iraq, multiple murders and assorted mayhem, da boids are doing that crazy migration thing that they do. The Redwing black birds have been back for a while. We've seen a few Great Blue Herons and some have seen Egrets. Today we took a walk at Thickson Woods in Whitby, and found returning Phoebes, Golden Crown Kinglets and Winter Wrens. The woods were

Midnight justice, or whatever you want to call it.

2006-04-08T22:33:00.000-04:00

"Midnight justice, or whatever you want to call it" is how one resident described today's discovery of eight bodies in a farm field near Shedden, a tiny community in south-western Ontario. Was it a psychopathic mass murder or just another example of what sometimes passes for justice under a dark rural sky? Either way, this tragedy will provide further ammunition to Canadian and American

Help make a difference and Save the SUVs

2006-04-06T21:58:00.000-04:00

We had a lively conversation at work today about cars and SUVs. Several of my co-workers have bought gas-guzzling cars and SUVs in recent years and now they gripe about the high cost of driving, parking and repairs. Let's not even talk about the post-petroleum stone age. It made me think of one of those Save the Children ads -- but for SUV owners. So, here's the PenOpticon Save the SUV Public

Focus (Folk Us) on April Fools

2006-04-01T01:14:00.000-05:00

In the few weeks that I have been blogging, I've been happy and bitter, optimistic and critical -- and often a bit of a pompous ass! And, as I expected, I have not been able to focus on any one subject. I wanted to play a good April Fools trick on you -- my non-existent readers -- but as my satirical muse, Jon Stewart would say: I got nuthin! So instead, I'll leave you with a few home-made

41 Hours in the Gaping Maw of WalMart

2006-03-31T11:53:00.000-05:00

Woe is us. A few weeks ago Skyler Bartels had an idea. The Des Moins, Iowa college student decided he would inspire himself as a writer by spending a week in the bowels of a 24x7 Wal-Mart. Fitted out with only with a debit card and a toothbrush, Bartels was consumed by Wal-Mart for a mere 41 hours before he was spit back out for a second chance at life. This story is remarkable precisely

Truthiness and Fairlessness

2006-03-30T12:31:00.000-05:00

Since Stephen Colbert inspired us to think about the meaning of "truthiness", I wanted to be the first to introduce the word "fairlessness". You never know when a word like this may come in handy, but what does it mean? In order to be fairless, one must be fearless about being less than fair. In other words, if you would be fairless, you must blatantly call for, or enact, unfair laws,

Is there a little Dowie in W?

2006-03-27T22:53:00.000-05:00

President may be related to 19th century Evangelist Mar 25, 2006, PenOpticon News - The White House refused to confirm or deny rumors that President George W. Bush is descended from John Alexander Dowie, the controversial evangelist who stormed America with Biblical force in the latter years of the 19th century. According to Dr. Russell Newcome, Dowie was the great uncle of George

Look who's tending bar!

2006-03-27T14:18:00.000-05:00

This "vision" came to me in a dream last night, so I decided I just had to oust the night demons by making this montage. You would have to open the full-size version to decode all of the faces, but here is the basic idea: Tony Blair has been mounted on the wall in a permanent grimace and stares at W, wondering what will happen next. My Prime Minister (Stephen Harper) grins sheepishly at his

Sunday evening anger

2006-03-27T01:01:00.000-05:00

So Tony Blair is trying to convince himself that he did the right thing by toadying up to George Bush and committing British troops to Iraq and Afghanistan. As reported in CNN:"If we want to secure our way of life, there is no alternative but to fight for it," he told a joint sitting of the Australian parliament in Canberra on Monday.Well Tony, "our way of life" seems to be different all over the

A step closer to a cure for T1 Diabetes

2006-03-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

Three cheers to Denise Faustman, the innovative Diabetes researcher who has found a way to halt the autoimmune process that destroys pancreatic islet cells in Type I diabetics. So far, her work has focused on diabetic mice, but because her approach involves modulating the immune system, there is good chance it may also work in humans. She has succeeded in reversing diabetes in mice by

Have you Weboggled?

2006-03-07T21:36:00.000-05:00

I’ve never been a big fan of computer games. Perhaps it’s because my brother and I were teenagers when the first TV “Pong” game came on the market. We had one, and for a few months we played against each other and against “the box” for hours every day. The games were limiting, but they did help us channel a bad case of sibbling rivalry into a safe, bruise-free virtual space. In any case,

I needed a small (Canadian) chuckle so...

2006-03-06T21:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, it's a very small chuckle. Rick Mercer of The Mercer Report fame recently challenged anyone with too much time on their hands to create an image that takes Canada's Prime Minister out of one strange context and insert him in another.On the left we have the original: Prime Minister Harper poses in Zombie-like fashion with what appears to be either a tin of Plutonium or a lovely cheesecake.

Spring! Sproing! Sprung!

2006-03-01T10:51:00.000-05:00

Another gawdawful February has finally run its course -- though this Feb was more like a typical southern Ontario Jan and Jan was more like a Mar or an Apr. Clearly someone is mixing up the months. Could it be us? In any case, if you live in a northern climate then I hope this Chestnut-sided warbler gives you some hope for the coming spring. Two years ago I was lucky enough to spend some time

The Incredible Grippy Truthiness of Stephen Colbert

2006-02-28T00:25:00.000-05:00

Have you all been watching The Colbert Report? At first I had mixed feelings when Stephen Colbert left the Daily Show to become the proprietor of his own show. He was one of the main reasons I watched the DS in the first place. I still miss his "This Week in God" segments, though Rob Cordrey's version of same is wonderful in its own way. But the older bits like the "Even Stev/phen" segment that

Book Review: The Red Power Murders by Thomas King

2006-02-20T02:17:00.000-05:00

Over the years Thomas King has made it his business to jump across borders that separate countries, cultures, professions and literary genres. Born in the U.S. to Greek and Cherokee parents, King has lived and worked in Canada since 1980. He currently teaches English at the University of Guelph, Ontario, but is well known for his CBC radio show, the Dead Dog Cafe, a growing collection of

PenOpticon... Panopticon... PunOpticon

2006-02-19T23:30:00.000-05:00

It has been several weeks and at least one quail hunting accident since I began this blog and you have all been most courteous by leaving me to my lonesome self. That's ok. After all, of all the packets being flung out of a hundred million web servers, and of all the bumph, blurbs and blogs you have to choose from, how could you possibly have ended up here? Like thousands of other hapless

Scraping off the topsoil

2006-02-14T00:35:00.000-05:00

I happen to live a few kilometres north of Toronto in a town that has grown from 12,000 to 160,000 people since I moved here in 1972. It is astounding to think how much we have been able to alter the landscape in such a short span. In the late 70's people in these parts tried but failed to stop the opening of the Keele Valley Landfill-- a facility that "grew up" to become a 28-million ton

GeoCamming and Surveillance

2006-02-07T16:11:00.000-05:00

I think I am over the GeoCamming addiction -- finally. I haven't had the opportunity to travel outside of Canada much for the past few years, so cruising round the world, playing with security cameras has been a whole lotta fun. Please feel free to check out my slideshow tour of images from Australia, Japan and Portland, Oregon. I may have also made a stop in Hong Kong or Singapore. Part of

Focus... Folk Us... Fo Kiss.... Faux Cuss.... Fo Cause...

2006-02-06T00:13:00.000-05:00

Focus! That will be a huge challenge for me in this Blog. In the beginning all one can do is cast bread upon the waters to see what kind of interesting (and odd) ducks are swimming around out there. In this place the bread may consist of guitar, diabetes, health care reform, sensible weight loss, web design, computer culture, surveillance and privacy, reading, writing and wordplay, TV satire,